Dum diti dum dang dang di dum
2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
1 bum said look jack I`m the s**t
Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick
My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue
She never liked me and I know that`s true
Kicked me out the crib be`cause I got a tattoo
No one loves me and no one cares
And all I ever get is funny stares
I can`t help it if I`m nothin but a wino
So I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos
Stealin` bottles of booze outta a & p
I know a girl at denny`s and I always eat free
Got the same birthdate as thomas crapper
For christmas I bought the old man the clapper
I`m so dapper u can call me dan
But they call me round eye when I`m chilin in japan
Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain`t no dike
But f**k that ho and let me tell ya what I like
I like bean burritos from taco bell
I like trippin on acid with dick vitale
My hair ain`t plastic and my clothes aren`t clashin`
I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90`s fashion
Took too many many trip and now I can`s stop trippin
My mellow d. killed a rat in the kitchen
U think u toke tuff I`d disagree
Nobody blows more doobs than richard d.
I get ill on hoes who I know ain`t fertile
I`m a real jet setter like cecil turtle
I`m down with bill bands so f**k joe glover
And while I`m at it muther f**k fat ass sally struthers
U look fine girl kinda undercover
But I can`t f**k ya `cause you look like my mother
I said dang digee dang di dang dang
It ain`t eric estrada or kool and the gang
U know I hand in the clem chillin on the strip
With all them mother f**kers who slang that s**t
U know I`m a pimp hold my dick like a holster
U sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"
Lifes a big joke and that`s how it strikes me
But f**k it `cause I know "somebody up there likes me."
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho`